Originally posted onto Obsev.com 10/20/15
You look across the room and there she is.
Standing there with her makeup and hair perfectly in place, dress and shoes coordinated seemingly without effort, not yet knowing that she is about to meet the love of her life right here and now. You summon the courage to walk over. You approach and get her attention. She smiles, turns to look at you, gives you a shoe-to-glasses glance over, and that beautiful smile you wanted to see so much more of quickly slides off and into a disgusted frown. She quickly returns to her conversation that you are certainly not invited to, and you are left standing there all alone, struggling to piece together what really just happened to you in the last eight seconds.
The answer is that you blew it before you even got started. Look down and at your clothes. You look like you got dressed in the dark by a color blind homeless man. You look terrible, and she looks fantastic, and that comparison is the first thing she noticed.
Ask yourself two questions. The first, how much time do you think she spent getting ready to come out tonight? And the second, how much time did you spend getting ready to come out tonight? Compare your answers.
Before you get a chance to share that award winning personality that your mother so strongly believes makes you an irresistible catch, you have to make sure that you look at least presentable to the opposite gender and that it at least looks like you put a little effort into getting dressed to come out tonight. They worked hard to put their look together tonight, why shouldn’t you?
Your clothes gives the rest of us around you who don’t know you a little bit of insight into what you’re all about. Don’t care about what you wear? Well guess what, she’s going to take that message as “I really don’t care about anything”. Without even yet approaching her, you blew it. Don’t want that to be the message you’re sending out to the women of the world? Then tuck in a clean shirt and wear something besides those shoes you go jogging in every morning.
Your choice of attire is the very first message that is sent to her mental inbox, long before you even get the courage to go over there and force out that awkward “Uh-uh, hi I’m Craig!” First impressions do matter and they are hard to erase, so make that first look over be one that she won’t regret giving you.
If she has given you a once over with her eyes, then she has most likely already made a theory about you. Before you even got the chance to open your mouth and deliver that line you’ve been practicing in front of a mirror for weeks about how she should be an Instagram model and that you’re “shocked” that she isn’t already, she has already decided which of the two categories you belong in: “I’d be willing to let that guy talk to me”, OR, “That guy probably wants to brag about his mint condition Star Wars action figure collection that he keeps beside his futon in his mother’s basement. No thanks.” Although the old adage is right about how one shouldn’t “judge a book by its cover”, know that she will (because isn’t that what we all do anyway?). Your story could be a pretty good one, great in fact, but what good is a story if no one wants to be close enough to you to hear it?
Think about the kind of girl that will be in attendance at the location you’ll be rolling to. How will they be dressed? This really is the basis of how you should be dressing. Think what the others are wearing, and don’t be the most underdressed guy in the room. That’s it! Is the average lady in this place you’ll be heading to going to be sporting sweats, yoga pants and/or hoodies? Then as the rule goes, don’t dress lower than that (not that you can, really). You should at the very least match it, but it would do you a valuable service to aim higher. The idea is to attract the eye of these ladies. They’ll certainly look at you when you walk in, but will they keep looking is the question. If you’re looking to catch the eye of one of these ladies, or even several, then your standard of how to look should be raised.
The bottom line: don’t ever be the most underdressed guy in the room. If you do, then it’s pretty safe to say that you’re blowing any chance of getting any attention from that girl you see across the room.